Heist game: could you pull off the museum job?

One painting, one swap, one night guard

The Museum Job is a short choose-your-path heist game about an art theft that has to go perfectly. You steal paintings for a living, and you have two rules: nobody gets hurt and nobody finds out. Tonight the job is Woman with a Green Umbrella, a small oil from 1904 at the Calloway Museum. The plan is a swap. Theo, a forger on his first job, has painted a copy. You go in during the cleanup after a donors' gala, put the copy in the frame, and leave with the original in a cleaning cart.

It has to work. Your planner, Marta, owes the buyer for a job that went wrong last spring, and this painting is how she pays. The buyer has made it clear there won't be another chance. If you are caught, you go to prison. If the swap is found, the painting can't be sold and the police start looking for the forger.

You make eight decisions between the van and the way out: what to carry in, how to get past the catering manager, what to do about Theo's signature, which way to go upstairs, how to handle the gallery camera, how to make the swap, what to say when the night guard stops you, and how to leave.

How this episode plays

Two meters sit above the scene. The first counts the minutes until Mr. Benn, the night guard, walks his round past the gallery. It starts at nine and mostly goes down. The second shows how much the building has noticed, in three bands: Unnoticed, Noticed and Watched. Careful choices cost minutes. Fast choices get noticed. Most of the game is deciding which of the two you can afford at that moment.

Reading never costs time. There are no timers, and the clock only moves when you choose something that takes time. The line under each choice tells you what it costs before you pick it.

On the first screen you choose one thing to carry in: a catering jacket that makes you look like part of the cleanup crew, a borrowed staff key that opens the service lift, or two extra minutes on the clock if you skip Marta's briefing. Skipping the briefing means you never hear how the gallery camera moves. At the end, the meters decide what is still possible. The loading dock needs time on the clock and a building that isn't Watched. The front doors ignore the clock but need a building that hasn't noticed you at all. Putting the painting back is always possible, and it pays nobody's debts.

Who you meet

Marta runs the job from a van across the street. She talks to you through an earpiece, keeps her sentences short, and can loop the gallery camera if you give her the time, because her laptop is slow. Theo comes inside with you. The copy is the best thing he has ever painted, and he would like to sign it. You can talk him out of it, let him, or send him back to the van and do the swap yourself.

Mr. Benn has guarded the Calloway for thirty-one years. He does the crossword on his rounds, he remembers faces, and he has caught two thieves in that time. He takes his break in the donor lounge, and at some point tonight he is going to stop beside your cart with a clue he can't get. Dina Moss, the catering manager, counts her staff in and out of the hall and will notice one person too many.

The five endings

The Clean Swap, Mr. Benn's Crossword, Front Page Forgery, Walk Away Clean, and Caught in the Gift Shop. Two of them end with the painting sold and Marta's debt paid. One ends with the painting in a crate and your work on the evening news. One ends with nothing stolen and nothing settled. One ends with an arrest.

Every ending names the choice that made the difference, as "your one right choice" on a win or "your one wrong choice" otherwise. From the result page you can rewind to a key decision instead of starting over. The endings you have found are saved on this device.

What kind of story is it?

A heist told straight. The people are good at their jobs, the plan is sound, and it starts to slip anyway. The danger is real inside the story: getting caught means an arrest, and a sloppy swap means the police come looking later. Nobody carries a weapon and nobody is hurt in any ending. The methods stay vague and fictional, a camera on a slow sweep, a borrowed key, a catering jacket, because the game is about decisions under pressure, not how to rob a museum. It is written for adults who like a short game with a dry voice and a real choice on every screen.

Who you meet

• You. A professional art thief with two rules: nobody gets hurt and nobody finds out.
• Marta. Your planner. Runs the job from a van across the street on a slow laptop. She owes the buyer, and this painting is how she pays.
• Theo. The forger. It is his first job, the copy is the best thing he has painted, and he would like someone to know that.
• Mr. Benn. The night guard. Thirty-one years at the Calloway, a crossword on every round, and a habit of noticing things.
• Dina Moss. The catering manager. Counts her staff in and out of the hall, and remembers faces.

Questions

How long does The Museum Job take?

About four minutes for one run. There are eight decisions, and most people play it a few times to find more of the five endings.

Can you get caught before the last decision?

No. Every run reaches the way out. Earlier choices decide how much time you have left and how much the building has noticed, and those decide which exits still work.

Does the game save?

Yes. Your current run and the endings you have found are saved in this browser, so a refresh puts you back where you were. Nothing is sent to a server.

Is it free?

Yes. There is no sign-up and nothing to buy.